


It All Comes Tumbling Down

by bkwrm523



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Trigger Warning: depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bkwrm523/pseuds/bkwrm523
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader desperately needs to talk to a friend.  Unfortunately, the only friend available is Godstiel.  Potential trigger warning!  Clinical depression and suicide are discussed.  Do not read if this will trigger you!  No smut in this; the mature rating is for the triggers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It All Comes Tumbling Down

“Cas.” You said aloud. You were desperate. Sam and Dean had warned you they wouldn’t be able to answer their phones for at least a day, and Bobby was busy. The only people left you could possibly reach, were Crowley and Castiel.

The King of Hell, or a misguided angel trying to make himself god.

You knew you needed help, though. You had put all your weapons in your duffle bag, and thrown the bag into the bathroom. You had tried all your usual remedies. Naturally, your depression struck when you were alone. Of course you had a particularly bad patch that you knew you needed help to get through when nearly everyone you knew was unavailable.

You were a little afraid of what Castiel would do in his current state, but you were out of options. You held your silver knife in your hands, tears falling down your face. Castiel appeared in the motel room moments after you gave in and resorted to praying to him aloud. You lifted your gaze from your knife, still absently twirling it, to look up at your friend. An unfamiliar self-confidence infused his expression. It was odd to dislike the self confidence on him, but this wasn’t a normal situation.

“I heard your prayer.” Castiel told you, a bit redundantly. "I know you and the Winchesters disagree with my decisions.“

"Cas,” you tried to get his attention.

“I am showing you how benevolent a god I can be. I always hear your prayers, and I came when you asked me to.”

“Cas!”

“I will end all human suffering. All I ask is that you bow down and worship me.” Castiel continued, heedless of your attempts to interject your reason for calling him. Time to try a different tactic.

“I switched your underwear with Dean’s. You’re both wearing each other’s boxers and don’t know it.”

“I will forgive your strides against me if you just- wait. What?” For a second, the old Castiel was back, and he looked at you in confusion. "Why would you do that? How would you do that? I don’t remove my clothes.“

"I didn’t. Just didn’t know how else to get you to shut up. I need your help. The boys are busy, and I can’t call anyone else.” For a moment, you had almost forgotten the burning need in you to die in the angel’s familiar fumbling.

“I will hear you.”

“Cas, I-” you finally have his attention, but words fail you. The old Castiel probably would have continued staring at you for awhile, or maybe asked why you didn’t just tell him whatever it was. Or maybe give you a hug.

This Castiel waited expectantly for a moment. When he realized you were struggling to continue, he took two long strides forward, into your space, and touched two fingers to your forehead. A flash filled your mind for a moment, and you could feel him reading your memories of the past 24 hours.

There was a moment of silence as you stood there miserably, with no idea of what to expect. Castiel sighed, cupped your face in his hands, and lifted your eyes to meet his. His expression was patient, caring.

“Thank you for praying to me. I realize, given our current differences, how difficult that was for you. I care about you; I am your god and I love you, and you are still my friend, despite everything. I will not allow you to end your own life.” Castiel finished. A weak smile grew on your face. Despite everything, he really was trying. Castiel’s eyes flickered away, and he shifted his weight. He didn’t know what to do now, you realized.

“Cas.” You said softly, regaining his attention. His eyes went back to yours. "Hug me.“ Castiel blinked, then enfolded you in his arms.

"You’re not alone.” Castiel murmured into your hair. "God loves you.“ You laugh and cry a little into his trenchcoat. Goofy angel. This did prove, at least, that your Castiel was still in there. Somewhere.

"I have all the powers of God now,” Cas mused, mouth buried in your hair. "I could remove your sadness.“

"Don’t touch my head.”

“Oh. Okay.”


End file.
